i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
