I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
