the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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