Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
