I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
