ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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