Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
