ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
