I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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