very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
