Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
A+ Viking dick
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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