two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Is it because I queefed?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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