Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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