I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
