I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
