Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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