I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
