Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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