have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
