I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
