I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
