THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
