dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
