haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
