I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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