How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
