When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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