dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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