: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
