remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
