He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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