I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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