i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
