Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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