U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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