Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
