I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize