that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
