Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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