I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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