I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
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