tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
