Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
