dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
