I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
