you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
