Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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