just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
