do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
