i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
