He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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