we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
