Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
