Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
