don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
