i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
