god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize