I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
