Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
