I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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