how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
