Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
