I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize