hotel room ftw
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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