then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize