I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
This can only be settled by a dance off.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
