Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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