Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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